Catching Up:
Sitting outside a quaint restaurant on a beautiful and hot summers morning, pinning down our napkins with the sugar bowl and tea cups against a gusty but welcome breeze, my teammate from high school and I were catching up after thirty years.
Both of us having reached fifty, were laughing at all the unwelcome changes as well as the wonderful clarity that accompanies this milestone. Unlike me, however, she had an additional issue to contend with that of becoming an empty nester. Her oldest child and best friend, a daughter, had moved out with her boyfriend a little while now, and her son, now a young adult, would eventually head out in the same direction. My friend, we’ll call her Chloe for the purpose of keeping things private, stated that she is feeling somewhat lost. She expressed that she doesn’t know who she is without her children. She was genuinely perplexed as to what she is to do with herself now with so much alone time. What were her interests? With what would she fill her time?
Empty Nest:
Although she was humorous in the telling of her situation, an underlying sadness could be felt, as well as little excitement of the journey about to unfold. How many times had I heard women articulate identical concerns? Women just like Chloe spend on average twenty years raising a child. Suddenly, the active part of motherhood comes to a halt. Twenty years of making all your decisions considering the family and forgetting yourself. Then one morning, you now find yourself alone or with just your spouse and a trunk full of memories. Where did the time go?
What now ?:
It’s imperative that you focus on the silver lining, that of reigniting a long-lost relationship with yourself yet again. Although a little daunting on where to start, a start is needed. I cannot speak from personal experience, but I can say that friends of mine having experienced this challenge in life began getting to know themselves again through a variety of activities and most importantly quiet contemplation.
To all of you out there about to, or going through empty-nest syndrome, I say to you that this numbness or sadness shall pass as everything does, and you will carve out a new routine. Just like birds, who will empty out the old remnants of a prior nest before feathering it again, so must you begin to re-feather yours. Here are some positives that come with an empty nest;
You will never have to experience;
Talking back, mood swings, eye-rolling or the word “whatever” ever again
“Mom, I’m late for school” or “I missed the bus, can you drive me?”
Picking up after them
Worrying about how they're doing in school
Juggling everyone’s schedule
Weekend long tournaments
Getting them to eat their vegetables
You will gain you-time to;
Clean up, simplify, perhaps downsize & move
Surround yourself with simple pleasure and little luxuries
Catch up on reading
Reconnect with your spouse
Start cooking for pleasure
Go to bed earlier and lounge longer in the morning
Reconnect with old friends or make new ones
Pamper yourself at the spa
Learn a new language
Join a meet-up group
Begin a new sport or activity
Go on a retreat
Learn to meditate
Travel
The list is endless. Reconnect with your inner child and embrace the newness that is the next phase in your life. Live it to the fullest, for now you need only live for yourself. Go on, you definitely earned it. 😊
If you would like some pampering and healing through reiki or have some questions or need direction through a tarot reading, do let me know by booking here. I would be happy to be of assistance.
Cheers,
Michelle Rose
I'd love to know what you have done, or are planning to do to re-feather your nest. Do leave a comment below.
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